Sacred Silence in the Music Vigil Setting
In the field of music-thanatology
My journey into sacred silence.
Professional/Academic Paper
for
Music-Thanatology Training Program
Lane community College
Eugene, Oregon
Offered by:
Judith D. Julien
April 2015
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank all the people in my life who have supported me through this training in Music
Thanatology and my life journey. May you be abundantly blessed and filled with the deepest love and
joy, I am so very very grateful for you and I thank God for you every day.
Thank you so much my dearest anam-cara (soul-friend) and husband Bob, for your support, guidance,
steadfastness and encouragement during this entire journey and most significantly for your expertise and
guidance in helping me call forth this paper into life.
Thank you Sharilyn Cohn CM-Th, my internship mentor and kind loving guide for your kind heartedness,
loving support and encouragement. Your presence and modeling at the bedside has deeply blessed me and
was instrumental in my learning the value of silence and stillness in our music. You inspired me to choose
this topic of “silence” to explore more deeply for my paper. I also want to thank you and Barbara Cabot
for having your ministry, Sacred Flight, support me in my internship.
Thank you to my paper-writing angel and advisor, Jennifer Hollis CM-Th for all your guidance and
support. Without your lovely encouragement and editing skills this paper would not be the meditation
journey into silence and stillness that I hoped it would be and that comes from my heart.
Great thanks to my wonderful spiritual guide and mentor, James Galluzzo, SJ who has inspired me and
guided me so gently into the silence of my heart.
Thank you to my internship team colleague, Joshua for your light and constancy though this journey. It is
such a joy and privilege to be a “team” with you as we offer our vigils and throughout this training
journey.
Thank you to all my very dear student colleagues (class of 2015) who supported me, encouraged me,
celebrated with me, hugged me and held me in their loving spirits in this amazing journey. It is such a joy
to be a part of such an unconditionally loving and supportive group of people journeying together. You
light up my life and are so very dear to me. I couldn’t have done this without you all.
Thank you to Laura Moya my voice teacher and to Suzanne Cerddeu my harp teacher. What a gift of
understanding and support you both have been every week without failure. Even when I was discouraged,
you brought light and love to my heart and encouraged me so dearly.
Thank you to my Spokane, WA mentors Donna Madej and Catharine Drum Scherer for taking me into
your hearts so that I could continue my internship during the summer months. You are amazing and so
supportive. Thank you Julia Smith, CM-Th my wonderful narrative reader for all your patient support.
Thank you to all the faculty of this music-thanatology training program for your unfailing enthusiasm in
teaching, for your openness, loving kindness and encouragement.
Finally (last but not least) thank you to my family who encouraged me and supported me every step of the
way. To my sons, Scott & Rob, daughters-in-law -of my-heart Becky & Kim and grandsons Matt, Tyler,
Trevor, I say a deep thank you for always being there for me. You are amazing individuals and I am so
blessed to be part of such an unconditionally loving, supportive family. May you be deeply and
abundantly blessed in all you do. I am also grateful for my extended family, my parents and ancestors
who brought me up with music and unconditional love in my heart and soul from birth.
With deep love to all, Judi
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Sacred Silence in the Music Vigil Setting
My journey into sacred silence.
Judith D. Julien
I am embarking on a journey into a new vocation as a music-thanatologist. I had arrived
at a point in my life where I had had multiple life experiences, all of which were rewarding and
satisfying in themselves. I had been a musician (vocalist and pianist), counselor (M Ed in
counseling psychology), clinical psychologist (Psy. D.), neuropsychologist (post-doctoral),
spiritual director and retreat master. As I explored how to combine these various experiences, I
discovered that all of these could be brought together in the service ministry of music-
thanatology. This practice combines contemplation (Sacred Silence), music (voice and harp),
spirituality, and emotional-psychological healing. You might well ask, “What is music-
thanatology?”
Music-thanatology is defined as a musical/clinical modality that unites music and medicine in end
of life care. The music-thanatologist utilizes harp and voice at the bedside to lovingly serve the
physical, emotional and spiritual needs of the dying and their loved ones with prescriptive music.
Prescriptive music is live music that responds to the physiological and emotional needs of the
patient moment by moment
.
1
By observing vital signs such as heart rate, respiration and temperature, the music-
thanatologist provides music that is tailored to each specific patient and their current situation.
The warmth of this living music can bring solace, dignity and grace to those nearing the ultimate
journey at the end of life. This offering is expressed as a music vigil, or just vigil:
A music vigil is the time during which a music-thanatologist is present and offering prescriptive
music using harp and voice for the benefit of the patient and their loved ones
.
2
As I studied the components of a vigil, I have discovered that a sacred silence is a significant yet
under-examined, component. This paper will explore that component.
As I begin a career in music-thanatology, I am aware that in my personal life I have
begun to seek more silence, inner stillness and spaciousness. I tire of the frenetic pace of doing
2
and being too busy. I am growing into being more contemplative. I am much more aware of my
breath as a vehicle to this inner stillness. This serves me as I approach each unique patient in
each different vigil setting. I am also more aware of the presence of spirit within me and that I
am morphing into this spirit-presence more and more. I breathe in spirit and am filled and
expanded by that fullness. I am drawn to inner stillness like a moth to a flame, but when I arrive
at the flame I realize that it is already deep within me, wanting to expand and increase in me.
This is not in a frantic manner, but in a quiet inner space way that warms, opens and cleanses my
inner being. James Galluzzo, SJ a contemplative Jesuit priest, mystic, author, educator, artist,
advocate for the disenfranchised and my spiritual mentor recently wrote the following:
Why Silence?
Only silence is deep enough to hold everything.
Silence leads us out of our false self
(Who we are told we are or should be).
In silence we can find compassion.
In silence we can hear the Eternal Presence.
In silence we find Peace within ourselves.
Resting in silence, we can be healed of any wound.
Silence is broad enough to include even our enemies.
Silence is the language of the Divine.
Listen.
3
Raised as a Catholic-Christian by a mother who was steeped in Catholic mystical tradition, I
grew up being exposed to the meditative teaching of mystics and wisdom teachers such as
Hildegarde of Bingen, Meister Eckhart, Julian of Norwich and others. In most recent years, I
have explored the teachings of Buddhism and other meditative disciplines. Thus, I have found
that many faith traditions use silence as a looking inward, a stillness, a connection with the
transcendent bringing spaciousness and presence. Silence can have a life of its own. It is at the
very foundation of all reality to me. I believe that it is that out of which all being comes and to
which all things return. Please note that if the word silence does not resonate with you, you can
interchange it with spaciousness, stillness, openness, or any word that speaks to you. Also note
3
that in this paper I use the word God to represent the divine, eternal presence, creator, source,
energy of the universe etc. and I do not intend to represent any particular religious tradition.
As I live my spiritual journey, silence has become a necessary component in my own
daily living as well as in the vigils I offer. At this time in my life and as my inner journey
deepens, my need for silence has increased and has become pervasive. I find myself longing for
stillness, spaciousness and silence. I am learning the meaning of contemplation and mysticism.
As I have participated in many music vigils in my internship, I have been deeply inspired by my
own mentor, Sharilyn Cohn, CM-Th, by the way she embraces silence in her musical offerings
and in her manner of being present with the patient. I have been in vigils where Sharilyn will sit
in contemplative silence for several minutes. This seems to allow patients and families to rest in
a deeper way. To me, this silence is a necessary component in the setting of the music
thanatology vigil. It is a sacred silence that is a call from my deepest being. It is a generative
life-giving healing silence. It is a silence grounded in the creative energy of the universe. It helps
me to be most present to my patient. It helps facilitate my prescriptive choices in the music vigil,
which can help to ease physical symptoms such as pain, restlessness, agitation, sleeplessness and
labored breathing. The vigil offers an atmosphere of serenity and comfort that can be profoundly
soothing for my patient. I believe that sacred silence is essential for this to occur.
As I ponder the words silence and sacred I turn to the dictionary. The word silence
implies an absence of sound. Merriam-Webster defines silence as: “(1) A state of keeping silent;
a refraining from speech or from making noise, and (2) the absence of any sound or noise;
stillness.”
4
The word silence may have personal connotations beyond such a definition that can
result in positive or negative emotional effect. For instance a person may have been abused and
have lost their voice; here silence may be terrifying. One can also suffer in silence or
give/receive the silent treatment. Thus it may bring up fear and trepidation. Silence can be
4
generally thought to be a neutral word, but I would suggest that there is no such thing as a neutral
word. Silence may have one meaning (or several) for one person and may not have the same
meaning for someone else.
I am using the word sacred to define the kind of silence that is brought to the bedside in
the vigil. Merriam-Webster defines sacred as: “(1) consecrated to or belonging to divinity, a
deity, or the holy, and (2) regarded with the respect or reverence accorded holy things, venerated
or hallowed.”
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I regard my patient as holy and the space we share as sacred space.
With the ill and/or dying patient, silence alone may induce fear reactions, a feeling of
loneliness or feelings of abandonment. Because of this one may be tempted to avoid silence,
instead filling time with music or talk. However, as I recognize the need for silence in my own
life, I can be sensitive to the patient and can use silence as a means of communication with them.
I can use my own silence as a means to follow the patient’s lead as I prescriptively choose music
for his or her benefit. However, this silence must be filled with respect, honor and recognition of
the sacred within the patient. Thus I am using sacred silence to clarify the periods of silence that
I consciously utilize within the vigil. It aids me in treating my patient with dignity, respect and
honor. It also calls me to my own center. Silence can invite me to come to a receptive and
attentive listening stance and to create a space within me to listen. Psalm 46:10 calls me to, “Be
still and know that I am God.” It also calls me to know that my patient is holy and has creator
presence within. It calls me to bring honor and respect to the vigil. It calls me to interior
stillness, presence, and awareness.
Sacred silence calls me to listen deeply and contemplatively. It calls me to be aware of
my own breath and of each inhalation and exhalation. This can quiet and still my busy mind and
body. It calls me to listen to the still, small voice of wisdom, insight, compassion, and beauty
within me. It calls me to deep presence and attentiveness to my patient.
5
As I sit in silence at a vigil, wellsprings of compassion bubble up within me that can be
incorporated into the vigil to soothe and heal. As I have explored silence, I have learned much
from the writings of wisdom teachers and mystics who have written on this topic. Their
teachings are rich and full of life. For example, Jalal al-Din Rumi, simply called Rumi in the
West, the 13
th
century Persian Sufi mystic and poet tells us that silence invites us to create
beauty:
Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation. In your light I learn how to love. In
your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no one sees you, but
sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.
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Simone Weil, 20
th
century French philosopher, Christian mystic and political activist reminds
that harmony can pervade our beings through silence:
Silence is not the absence of sounds, but something infinitely more real than sounds
and the center of a harmony more perfect than anything which a combination of sounds can
produce. Furthermore, there are degrees of silence. There is a silence in the beauty of the
universe, which is like a noise when compared with the silence of God.”
7
Silence can be an invitation and can lead us to the present moment, which I believe is our
true home. As Thich Nhat Hahn, a Buddhist priest who is attributed to bringing Buddhism and
meditation to the West from his homeland in Vietnam calls us to the present moment of presence
and home:
Our true home is in the present moment.
To live in the present moment is a miracle.
The miracle is not to walk on water.
The miracle is to walk on the green Earth in the present moment,
to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.
Peace is all around us-
in the world and the nature- and within us-in our bodies and our spirits.
Once we learn to touch this peace,
we will be healed and transformed.
It is not a matter of faith; it is a matter of practice.
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To find personal peace in silence is not easy. As a culture, it seems we seem deeply afraid
of silence. Indeed, a recent study at the University of Virginia reported that 67% of men and
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25% of women would rather endure an unpleasant electric shock than be alone in silence for
even 15 minutes! It seems that few persons are comfortable with silence.
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I found in my own life that I had to make time and space for contemplation and
meditation as a part of my being. I more recently found that this contemplative silence has
become sacred to me. I now embrace this as sacred silence. Meister Eckhart, a 13
th
century
Dominican priest, German theologian, philosopher and mystic wrote:
All sound arises out of Silence and dissolves into Silence. All thought arises out of Silence and
dissolves into Silence. The universe arises out of Silence and dissolves into Silence. Suffering
arises out of Silence and dissolves into Silence. The unbounded spaciousness of Silence, filled
with the clear light of Awareness, dissolves the roots of pain and sorrow. Take refuge in Silence
and know unshakeable joy. Silence is a doorway into the heart of reality; to cultivate a silent
heart is to discover your deepest truth.
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Silence is not an absence but a presence
. The famous airplane pilot, author and inventor
Charles Lindberg noted:
Our spirit has an instinct for silence. Every soul innately yearns for stillness, for a space, a garden
where we can till, sow, reap, and rest, and by doing so come to a deeper sense of self and our
place in the universe. Silence is not an absence but a presence. Not an emptiness but repletion. A
filling up.
11
As I have studied Zen Buddhist wisdom I have come to understand that Zen regards
silence as a supreme state, timeless and present everywhere. Zen treats words as if they had not
been spoken and listens to silence as if the universe were speaking. When all modes of thought
break, the imaginary distinction between self and other disappears. At this moment, silence
becomes what it has always been; the voice of oneness.
Khalil Gibran, Lebanese artist, poet and writer in the late 1800’s wrote about the river of
silence and singing and dancing:
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached
the mountaintop, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then
shall you truly dance.
12
Pico Iyer, a British-born essayist and novelist known for his cross-cultural work states:
7
A “moment of silence” is the highest honor we can pay someone; it is the point at which the mind
stops and something else takes over (words run out when feelings rush in). A “vow of silence” is
for holy men the highest devotional act. We hold our breath, we hold our words; we suspend out
chattering selves and let ourselves “fall silent,” and fall into the highest place of all.
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He continues:
We have to earn silence, then, to work to make it not an absence but a presence; it is that
enchanted place where space is cleared and time is stayed and the horizon itself expands. In
silence, we often say, we can hear ourselves think; but what is truer to say is that in silence we
can hear ourselves not think, and so sink below ourselves into a place far deeper than mere
thought allows. In silence, we might better say, we can hear someone else think…For silence is
responsiveness.
14
Jewish rabbi, David Wolpe shared his wisdom about silence transcending speech and being a
symphony in itself:
Silence can (at times) transcend speech. In addition to deeds and words, we can also serve with
stillness, with silence. To be without words refurbishes our sense of their radiance. Silence can
create space above the chatter. It allows one to hear that which might be otherwise ignored. A
word is a note. Silence is a symphony. Silence can encompass all words and transcend them.
15
In her studies and work with dying patients Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD wrote:
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has
purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn
from. Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes
beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful
cessation of the functioning of the body.
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Two essentials of my developing vocation as a music-thanatologist are silence and
service. I have found that I am most grounded when I incorporate sacred silence that brings an
interior calmness. It brings a oneness with my patient. I express this oneness with harp and voice.
Such sacred silence calls forth a deep presence to myself in the moment. I do not actually hear
silence, but it is that by which I do hear. I cannot capture silence. It captures me. Silence is a
kind of thinking that is not thinking. Silence, then, is a form of knowing beyond bodily reacting
or emotion. It is a form of knowing beyond mental analysis.
To live in this sacred silence, creates a kind of sympathetic resonance with what is right
in front of me. Without some degree of silence, I have difficulty embracing the moment as it
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purely is. My best music has come in and through moments of interior silence and stillness. This
silence is larger than me, it surrounds me, and it finally finds the deeper truth of the full moment
that I am in. This is a contemplative way of knowing and ultimately acting.
Silence, especially loving or sacred silence, stays with mystery, holds tensions, absorbs
contradictions, and smiles at paradoxes—leaving them unresolved, and peacefully so. Poets
know this, as do many masters of musical harmonies. Max Picard, in his classic book The World
of Silence, says:
The human spirit requires silence just as much as the body needs food and oxygen.” As a general
spiritual rule, you can trust this: The ego gets what it wants with words. The soul finds what it
needs in silence. The ego prefers full solar light—immediate answers, full clarity, absolute
certitude, moral perfection, and undeniable conclusions. The soul, however, prefers the subtle
world of shadow, the lunar world that mixes darkness and light together.
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Robert Sardello in his book Silence: The Mystery of Wholeness tells us:
In Silence, everything displays its depth, and we find that we are a part of the depth of everything
around us.
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This is true for me. When my interior silence can actually feel and value the silence that
surrounds everything else, I perceive that I have entered wisdom. This is the very heart of
meditation and contemplation.
If one has not been exposed to practices of mediation or contemplation, learning such
techniques may be valuable. Resources abound and are available in most communities and also
on the internet. One internet possibility is on the UCLA health website.
19
This website offers
short audio guided meditations used in their research that are free to the public.
At this point, you may be wondering just what practices I might use that draw me into
silence. There are numerous meditation techniques that are taught in a variety of venues. Some
of these you may have tried, either in private, daily meditation or on structured retreats.
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As a practitioner and teacher of meditation, I personally find the following two simple
examples help me to become present through silence and to be able to bring that presence to the
vigil. These examples are centering prayer and a meditation on the breath. These two meditations
have served me well in my personal life and now in my music-thanatology work in vigil. You
may wish to try one.
I begin with a technique frequently taught in modern Western Christian culture:
A Technique of Centering Prayer:
1.
Sit comfortably with your eyes closed, breathing naturally, relaxing deeply.
2.
Choose a word or phrase that expresses your openness to universal presence. (Breath) (Thank
you) (Om).
3. Hold the word gently, without speaking, repeating it in your mind slowly.
4. Whenever you become aware of anything (thoughts, feelings, sensations), simply return to the
word, which symbolizes your intention.
5. Gradually let the word fall away as you slip into silence. Rest in silence.
6. Continue in silence as long as you wish.
7. Just be.
In older Eastern traditions, meditation has been a practice for centuries. Buddhism, for example,
has its basis in silence and stillness and in the use of meditative mantras. Many of these
practices were brought to the West in more modern times and one of these Buddhist teachers is
Thich Nhat Hahn. One of his meditations uses the breath as the instrument of meditation. I have
modified this meditation and use it in my own practice as well as for many retreats that I have
led in my own spiritual community.
Meditation on the breath:
1. Sit upright and comfortably and become aware of your breath.
2. Become present to yourself and smile to yourself. Allow your mind and body to become
still.
3. Become aware of your breath, your inhalation and your exhalation. Just notice them. Do
not force them.
4. As you inhale, say silently to yourself “present moment”.
5. As you exhale say, “wonderful moment”
Repeat numbers 4 and 5 over and over for each inhalation and exhalation as many times as you
wish. As you become more still inside, you may wish to drop the silent words and just focus on
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your breath or you may wish to change the words to fit your own preferences. Be patient with
yourself. At first this is not an easy exercise. Let any thoughts that come through your mind
flow on and bring you back to the breath.
So how can music and silence come together in a vigil? At first thought, silence is
nothingness and music is sound. They are opposites of one another. But is that actually so? That
this is a false impression has been relayed by several people who recognized that the two are
indeed one. Kahlil Gibran, also quoted above, wrote:
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
20
From Leopold Stokowski, a famous music composer and conductor:
A painter paints his pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. We provide
the music, and you provide the silence.
21
Marcel Marceau, the famous French mime/actor, tells us:
Music and silence combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of
music.
22
From the famous French composer Claude Debussy:
Music is the silence between the notes.
23
To me, silence does not simply mean no words or no sound. It means bringing a deep
sense of stillness and presence within the music. The stillness offers the opportunity for the
musician and the listener to become more present to each other and to what they are
experiencing. In music-thanatology it is about the music-thanatologist being fully present to the
patient.
For many patients and family members, the process of dying may, in fact, be one of the
most stressful times of their lives, filled with anger, fear, confusion, and the unknown. Sacred
silence in the vigil can offer a centering presence and a source of peace and serenity. This can
serve to ease pain and suffering. The deep presence of silence within the music-thanatologist
and the prescriptive music can bring peace and rest to a weary, agitated, and fearful patient,
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potentially relieving some of their suffering, if even for a few moments. The rests within the
music can also create space for silence. I am aware that sacred silence is in the “still small
voice.” It is the silence that can hold and caress, and that can surround the patient with love and
protection. Silence can be tender and healing. Silence can help the music-thanatologist respond
effectively with the best prescriptive music for the needs of the patient.
I believe that in the depths of silence, I can become aligned with my patient. It is through
sacred silence that knowledge of our universal oneness and commonality are embraced. Sacred
silence carries infinitely farther than the loudest cry. Through stillness and presence one can
begin to comprehend the process of life and death and that oneness in which we all live and
move and have our being. A very important issue in the vigil setting is that, while bringing inner
stillness, I also remain aware and alert to the patient and others present for any responses to what
is presented or any change in the patient’s condition. As a result, I can be flexible with my music
prescription and may change it to respond to the needs of the patient and/or the situation. As a
music-thanatologist I am called to be respectful of whatever arises and to maintain compassion,
loving acceptance and flexibility in my approach and responses. I hold openness and
spaciousness.
I, as music-thanatologist, am not just someone who “plays” music, but am one who
“offers” ministry to a patient. I am a contemplative musician and minister of healing to the
patient with harp, voice and loving presence. The clinical psychologist Robert Sardello reminds
us and teaches us to bring the silence of the heart into our ministry:
First, we learn to enter the heart. It is best to initiate this learning when calmness rules. Then,
with practice—sometimes taking years to develop, sometimes occurring right away—we can find
our way into heart-presence even in the midst of greatest turbulence. It is simple. We enter the
Silence by simply going to a quiet place and sitting, eyes closed, until we feel the embrace of the
Silence. It is an ‘inner region,’ one to which we have to yield in order to experience. The practice
of Silence is also ongoing, nothing to be mastered, for Silence is endless.
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When we have, at least, entered the Silence, we place our attention at the center of the
heart. Heart-attention differs, radically, from thinking about the heart. Try this: look at your foot
and pay attention to your foot; it appears to be ‘over there’; you are really thinking about your
foot. Then, instead, place your attention within your foot. Notice that this is suddenly something
like, ‘Hmmm, the whole world now unfolds from this place of my foot.’ Wherever attention is,
there you are.
What is heart interiority? Become a researcher into your own heart. Just observe, notice,
and sense the qualities. It is as if you are within a vast, spherical space. Within this space, you
cannot find a boundary, an ending. The feeling is one of intimate infinity and infinite intimacy,
both at once. There is warmth, all warmth. You feel encompassed, held, embraced; you find that
you are within heart rather than heart being ‘inside’ you. It is deep, and when there, you do not
want to leave.
When we find, say, that we have fallen into anger, or any of the other transgressions,
particularly when we struggle, over and over, with the recurring occurrence, we approach courage
by going into Silence and then entering the heart. From within the center of the heart, the place of
inviolability, the heart’s ardor, that is the strong, strong, strong love of the heart. When that
warmth is felt, we can let it resonate through the body until perfect calm comes. We feel the
inherent, always present, blessing return. It never went away; we went away from it.
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Jennifer Hollis helps us remain centered as she writes about the role of music-thanatologist. She
refers to herself as a “contemplative musician.” She explains:
Understanding myself not as a performer but as a contemplative musician guides me when I am
in danger of … playing in a routine way or showing off. It reminds me that a music vigil is not a
place for perfect playing and perfect singing. Instead, it is a sacred space where music, presence
and compassionate attention accompany a dying patient as he or she prepares to leave this world.
When I understand myself to be a minister, contemplative music becomes a vehicle of my
ministry and the work of music-thanatology becomes my vocation. The spiritual practice of that
vocation is the music vigil.
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In my personal practice, the role of silence is significant and I the practitioner become still both
inside and out and listen intently. When I understand myself to be a contemplative musician who
ministers to my patients with music and presence, silence becomes a key component of holding
the compassion that I bring to my service. Thus I carry silence, stillness, spaciousness, service,
compassion, contemplation and ministry into each vigil setting. This begins upon morning
awakening and continues throughout my vigil day.
A Typical Vigil Day
The following is representative of the pre-vigil morning in my life as a music-thanatologist:
Waking and travel to the vigil site:
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The morning of the vigil, I awake and move quickly to dress and pack my harp. My drive
may be slow in heavy traffic and quite frustrating. My coffee cup is empty. I finally reach my
site a bit frazzled and disconnected. What I do in the next few minutes will profoundly impact
my vigil. I must transition from a harried traveler to a bringer of peace and comfort. I know that I
need moments in my car and in my walk into the hospital in preparation to enter this sacred
space of my patient. So I begin to become present to my own heart. I sit in my car for a few
minutes and attend to my heart and my breathing, recalling the meditation on the breath.
As I inhale I say “present moment” and as I exhale I say “blessed moment.”
I feel myself calm as I breathe. After a few breaths I change my words when I inhale to “be still”
and when I exhale, I say “Namaste” (this means “the god/spirit in me sees the god/spirit in you”).
I sit for a few moments with this mantra and breathe. I then quietly get out of my car, continuing
this meditative breathing with each step. My harp and I proceed into our designated site. My
breathing continues with an inner silent “thank you” on each breath as I smile to the people who
greet me. Throughout this entire process, sacred silence is my companion.
Entering the Vigil site:
As I enter the site to start my day with patients, I continue to breathe silently and focus on
what I see and experience in the moment. I quietly send thoughts of kindness to all staff in this
facility. I enter and leave my harp in the waiting room. I then proceed to greet the receptionist,
charge nurse or lead staff person. I consult with this person to find out which patients are on
comfort care, perhaps imminently dying or any who might benefit from music. I listen with a
quiet spirit as I am given this information and we triage the order of patients who might benefit
from my music. I bring a spirit of quiet and calm as I listen and continue to be aware of my
breath and what the nurse tells me on a verbal and non-verbal level. After we triage, I check the
patient’s chart for additional information. I then prepare myself to approach their room to greet
14
the patient to ask if they would like some music. I continue to center, breathe and call upon my
higher power to bless. I quietly image sending “Namaste” to my patient.
Entering the patient’s room:
My initial mindfulness as I approach the patient is to bring presence, spaciousness, and
peace. My initial silence is vital to this. I stand at the door silently interiorly setting my intention
for the vigil saying a little prayer, “may all be blessed”. I then knock and enter the room. I walk
to the bedside and greet the patient. I may touch their arm or hand as I introduce myself and
explain what I do and that I am here to offer this harp music to them if they would like it. I
explain that they do not have to “do” anything but just “be”. I also say that they are already
“doing good work”. I explain that there will be silences between the musical offerings and that
they do not have to respond in any way. I invite them to “just receive and be”. My presence
quietly offers loving kindness as I speak.
If the patient agrees to this vigil offering, I then bring my harp into the room and place it
near the side or end of the bed. I return to the patient’s bedside, assess their vital signs and note
any signs of physical or emotional discomfort. As I do this often in silence with loving eye
contact I am aware that the contact and stillness can hopefully be forming a bond between myself
and patient. As I reassure and connect with the patient through touch and presence, I have the
opportunity to further evaluate the patient. I have already observed some behavioral signs such
as anxiety, respiratory rate, responsiveness, etc. Through palpation I can assess skin temperature
and perfusion as well as pulse rate and quality. Pulse quality can help determine strength of the
heart (strong vs. weak) and can even suggest an estimate of blood pressure (higher or lower than
my own).
After this, I return to my harp and sit in silence for a few minutes. As I do so, I continue
to breathe and center in stillness and be aware of the patient. In silence, gratitude, and
15
prayerfulness for my patient, I place my fingers on the harp and begin to invite the strings to sing
under my touch.
I offer many musical elements within the Vigil offering – bringing silence/stillness:
The following are some of the elements that I offer to facilitate silence and spaciousness
and to align with the needs of the patient.
Pace: As I offer music within the vigil, I follow the breath of the patient and align myself
with the patient by pacing the rhythm of the music to the patient’s pattern of breathing. As such,
there may be significant pauses between breaths and, during those pauses, I may elongate some
of my notes (use a fermata to hold or let the note ring on the harp) to slow the music and bring
openness and spacious silence in the ringing sound of the notes. If the patient’s breath is rapid, I
match the beat of the music to the respiratory rate in a half-time manner, playing on the beat with
only half their respiratory rate. Alternatively, I may align my musical beat and pace with the
patient’s heart rate if available on a monitor.
Ring of the string: I offer the “ring” of the harp string for both bass and melody anytime
I release the tone of the harp string to continually let it ring. This technique can bring
spaciousness and silence as that note sounds and diminishes, filling the room with stillness and
ultimately falling into quiet silence.
Spaciousness between and within the notes: In the melody, I can elongate notes to
slow the overall pace of the music. I can add more rests or pauses at the end of phrases as I let
the notes ring. I can offer a slow repetition of a single melody theme or figure of a few notes
varying the length of different notes and the rests between notes as I repeat a melodic figure.
Repetition: Repeating a note or a melodic theme or a repeated accompaniment pattern
can also offer spaciousness. This repeated theme can be offered over and over and tend to serve
as a mantra that can lull and calm the patient into stillness. For example, I present an excerpt
16
from a vigil example where I repeated a simple melody over and over and which seemed to have
a calming effect on a very agitated, panicked patient who was trying to get out of her bed while
connected to many tubes and monitor lines:
Vigil Excerpt: After some silence, I quietly began to offer the melody of an unmetered
chant in hypodorian mode with three short phrases. I played this very slowly and
meditatively. I intended this as a mantra to soothe, calm and offer safety. As I continued
playing this simple short melody (only on my harp) for multiple repetitions I noticed that
the patient began to settle down and slow her attempts to get out of bed. Her eyes
became softer and she appeared less panicked. Her body, that had been so tense,
appeared to relax a bit she became more still. I continued playing this single melody line
for an extended time, as I watched her continue to calm to the point of resting back into
her bed. I bring this offering to a close and sit for a bit, breathing with the patient and
embracing the silence.
Spaciousness and stillness. In the vigil, the Music Thanatologist can use a sparsely
placed drone bass to enhance and widen the embrace of the music. I can offer an open 1-5-8
bass pattern to offer the simplicity of spaciousness. At times I may offer only a 1-5-8 pattern (or
1-5-10 pattern) with no melody on alternating bass notes such as first on D and then on C
repeating them over and over to calm and soothe.
Vigil excerpt: In this instance, my patient initially displayed extreme anxiety with wide
and wild eyes and rapid breathing. She had attempted to physically to sit up and lurch
out of her bed while her nurse gently tried to restrain her. As her anxiety increased I
begin a three-note offering of a 1-5-8 bass pattern that varies playing D-A-D and then C-
G-C back and forth in a lower register. I played very slowly, allowing each string to ring
with a lot of spaciousness between each note. As I played this offering over and over, I
notice that my patient’s body began to become less rigid and the intensity and panic in
her eyes began to soften. This offering can be reminiscent of a simple mantra for
healing, holding and safety and it is repeated numerous times slowly and calmly for a
long duration. As this pattern continued, the patient appeared to relax and she leaned back
more deeply into her bed. Her eyes softened and she even began to close them. Her
respiratory rate slowed and I observed her heart rate to slow (by observing the cardiac
monitor). Her attending nurse smiled at me and the whole ambience of the room felt
calmer. My musical offering followed my patient’s respirations and heart rate and
continued to hold her in the stillness of the music. After an extended time, my offering
quietly slowed and the vigil came to a close. I sat in the silence and stillness of peace.
The patient continued to lie still with her eyes closed.
17
Dynamics and texture: As a music thanatologist I can begin to offer preludes very softly
as I enter the music into the milieu of the patient. I can use crescendos (increasing volume) and
decrescendos (decreasing volume) as I weave my music and gently soften and slow at the end of
the offering. As I crescendo throughout an offering I can also add texture with more complex
accompaniments. This includes the addition of voice singing on a vowel, a hum or words. As I
decrescendo at the end of an offering I can also reduce the texture and complexity.
Silence within the vigil. As I offer music I bring not only harp and voice, but my own
deep healing presence. This is offered by my sitting quietly at the harp and breathing in tandem
the patient. I bring my own stillness and meditative presence to the room. This often is also
helpful between musical offerings and at the beginning and end of the vigil. As I offer this
stillness between music, I hold my patient silently in my heart for peace and healing. It is
important in my practice to be aware of the potential blessing of silence and stillness within the
often noisy, chaotic hospital milieu. Thus, it is important that the music thanatologist have
his/her own deep meditative practice and spiritual journey from which to draw.
Overall, the intention for the music thanatologist is to assess the patient, prescriptively
choose music and musical elements to offer. However I hold no hard and fast expectations or
attachments to outcomes. It is very clear to me that my patient is “doing good work” interiorly
and exteriorly. I am only really just accompanying them on their inner journey. Raya
Partenheimer, in an interview with Jennifer Hollis, explains bringing simplicity and stillness into
the vigil:
The music offered can be very stripped down and delicate – smooth melodies, very little texture,
then spacious periods of silence.
26
Thus, I bring the vigil to an end in sacred silence.
Post-Vigil Gratitude and Thankfulness:
18
As I sit in silence for a few moments at the end of the vigil, I say a silent prayer of
blessing for this patient. I then approach the patient’s bed and thank the patient for the time with
them. I wish him/her well and thank them for the privilege of offering this vigil. I then take my
harp and quietly leave the room. As I stand outside their door I offer another silent prayer that
the patient and family be held in loving and protective arms and deeply blessed. As I leave the
area I thank the nurses and caregivers for the opportunity to serve in this milieu.
Closing Note
As I have journeyed with sacred silence for this paper, I have come to understand that I
bring silence into the vigil setting whether I am greeting the patient, offering music, or sitting in
silence holding the patient in the depth of my heart. It is the interior silence in my being that I
bring, whether I am making “sound” or not. That silence in my being is “presence” and that is
the gift that I bring to the vigil. I come into the presence of another to be with them, to hold them
in compassion, to “listen” to them, and to follow them. I come to walk with them for a short
time in this lifetime and I come to honor and accompany them in their journey. My inner silence
informs the prescriptive music and the moments of stillness that I offer. It is that gift of sacred
silence that I bring. That gift is offered both with and without “sound/music/speech”. It is in my
offering of presence and love that I bring to the patient and that presence and love sets the
occasion for healing on whatever level is needed.
I leave you with my favorite quote fr om James Galluzzo, SJ, my spiritual
guide/accompanist, author, artist, educator, minister to the disenfranchised, healer and creator of
oneness among all peoples:
“In stillness we experience spaciousness
and
In spaciousness we have room for silence.”
27
19
20
Notes
1. Music-Thanatology Association International, found at: http://mtai.org/index.php/what _is.
(Accessed January 2015)
2. Music-Thanatology Association International, found at: http://mtai.org/index.php/what _is.
(Accessed January 2015)
3. Galluzzo, James, “Personal interview” with Father James Galluzzo, SJ, Spiritual Mentor,
Spiritual Director, Author, Artist and Educator. Urban Spirituality Center, Portland, OR.
January, 2015.
4. Webster’s New World College Dictionary, NY, Simon and Schuster, Inc., third edition 1996
p. 1249.
5. Webster’s New World College Dictionary, NY, Simon and Schuster, Inc., third edition 1996
p. 1180.
6. Rumi, Jalal al-Din, The Essential Rumi, Translated by Coleman Barks, NY, Harper-Collins,
1995.
7. Weil, Simone, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/authors/s/simone_weil.html, accessed January, 2015.
8. Nhat Hanh, Thich, Essential Writings, Edited by: Robert, Ellsberg, Maryknoll, NY, Orbis
Books, 2001.
9. Wilson, Timothy et al. “Just Think: The challenges of the disengaged mind,” Science, 2014
July 4; 345; 75-77.
10. Tolle, Meister Eckhart, “Stillness speaks: Article on Serenity,” Soulful Living. Found at
http://soulfulliving.com.
11. Lindbergh, Charles. BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/authors/c/charles_lindburgh.html, accessed January, 2015.
12. Gibran, Khalil, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/quotes/k/khalilgibr629327.html, accessed January, 2015.
13. Iyer, Pico, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/authors/p/pico_iyer.html, accessed January, 2015.
Also provided by: Franz, Jane, “Contemplative Word Class Handout – quotes on Silence”, Lane
Community College Music Thanatology Training Program Lecture, Portland, OR, Oct. 2013.
14. Franz, Jane, “Contemplative Word Class Handout – quotes on Silence”, Lane Community
College Music Thanatology Training Program Lecture, Portland, OR, Oct. 2013.
21
15. Wolpe, David, In Speech and In Silence: The Jewish Quest for God, NY, Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1992. P.7, p. 183, p.189, p. 191.
16. Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/quotes/e/elisabethk121767.html, accessed January, 2015.
17. Picard, Max, The World of Silence, Translated by Stanley Godwin, Eighth Day Press, 2002.
18. Sardello, Robert, Silence: The Mystery of Wholeness, Berkeley, CA, Goldenstone Press,
2006.
19. UCLA Health Mindful Awareness Research Center: Free guided mediations, found at:
http://marc.ucla.efu/body.cfm. (Accessed February, 2015)
20. Gibran, Khalil, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/quotes/k/khalilgibr629327.html, accessed January, 2015.
21. Franz, Jane, “Contemplative Word Class Handout – quotes on Silence”, Lane Community
College Music Thanatology Training Program Lecture, Portland, OR, Oct. 2013.
22. Marceau, Marcel, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/authors/m/marcel_marceau.html, accessed January, 2015.
23. Debussy, Claude, BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2015.
http://www.brainyquote.com./quotes/authors/c/claudedebu204265.html, accessed January, 2015.
24. Sardello, Robert, Silence: The Mystery of Wholeness, Berkeley, CA, Goldenstone Press,
2006.
25. Hollis, Jennifer, Music at the End of Life: Easing the Pain and Preparing the Passage, Santa
Barbara, CA, Praeger, 2010. P.10.
26. Hollis, Jennifer, Music at the End of Life: Easing the Pain and Preparing the Passage, Santa
Barbara, CA, Praeger, 2010. P.65.
27. Galluzzo, James, Editor, Quotes and Reflection Questions for Journaling your Spiritual
Journey, Portland, OR, Urban Spirituality Center, 2009.
22
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24
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